Star Trek i

Wow, they blew me away again! Once again, Star Trek has disarmed me, maybe even blown me away. As though the Deep Space Nine episode Rejoined wasn’t enough, Star Trek The Next Generation brings us the episode called “The Outcast”, based on the J’naii people. They are a world of androgynous persons, in which it is a CRIME to be treated medically if you find yourself to identify with a gender. Ring a few bells? Well, it certainly touches upon many topics, and brings many thoughts. For the people who DO feel they are a particular gender, is it possible in their world to be born biologically a certain gender, but on top of that, as we earthlings have here, find yourself to identify with the gender you are not biologically? It is explained that at one time, their culture had 2 genders, but they “evolved”, and gender ceased to exist. Clearly, these people ARE born with particular sexual organs, but they make each person neither a he or a she. The episode certainly has its shortcomings. The main J’naii character, Soren, reveals that she identifies as female, and is attracted to males. So, sadly, most likely, if someone as myself came along, and told her that as a human I was born biologically female but am male in many ways, she would still most likely reject me. So, the storyline, in trying to be progressive, still falls short, but you must forgive it, given the era it was born of. In the end, after falling in love with Commander Riker, she is “treated”, and the episode ends with all her life struggles having meant nothing to her; the struggle to hide who she was, etc. She simply says, “I was wrong. I can’t believe I ever felt those things.”. You see, when you have a certain inclination, and then have a different one, you simply are who you are; you don’t want anything else other than what you desire at that time. You can switch back and forth a million times, and always want only what THAT way of being that you are in a given time, wants. At least on their planet, “treatment” seems to “work”. For people who know me who don’t understand my inclination towards a “(supposedly) male name and pronouns, in this epsiode, Dr Beverly Crusher states, when questioned by the androgynous Soren as to what it is like to be female, “It’s just the way I am; I’ve never really thought about what being female means.”. You see, a person such as myself on the other hand, is hyper aware of gender, gender roles and the consequences of being a specific gender, etc. As the person I am, I wish to bring to media, television, movies, the truth of persons like myself, biologically female for example, telling a burdened, hiding judged gender-identifying character like Soren, that she too would reject me. I wish to bring characters like this to life. Thanks again, S

That Gilmore Thang

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Oh God, the reboot!  May I just talk about this before I go to bed?  10 years later have taught me just how annoying fast-paced seemingly witty banter, super-charged by coffee, really is.  Dear God was my first impression as episode 1 opened up.  Incessant remarks on how “Gee, what a great kid you’ve got there!”, as in Rory.  Now, 10 years ago, who one and only true beau, wanted her to move out with him to California, start a life together, and be married.  Rory turned him down for The New York Times, and Logan said, well, this is the end, then.  So, you’d think he actually has some sensitivity and desire for a put-together, life of love.  You’d think.  He loved her.  Truly.

Then, fast forward 10 years and you find a whole new world.  You find that 10 years have not brought growth, but rather a regression.  They have a secret love affair, whilst Rory, now living in Lpondon, maintains a boyfriend in the States.  “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas until you leave Vegas and forget about what happened, only to return to Vegas and remember again”, Rory states.  So, a regression in love and being loving?  The 2, once destined for marriage, make love less in their exploits, they lessen love.  Loveless.  And, this is all in episode 1.  I opened episode 2, and I shall have to leave it there.  This show was once rated as the top positive influential show for teens.  No longer.  Goodbye Gilmores, ’twas nice naively knowing you 10 years ago.  no-coffee

Fashion, Theatre, People, Feelings

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art and visiting both the Vigee LeBrun exhibition, the female 18th century French painter, as well as the Manus + Machina exhibition.  What I will mention here more so, is the latter.

The purpose of Manus + Machina is essentially to show the juxtaposition between what clothing can be when handmade, versus when made by by machine.  It can even become a machine, who knew!  I came away from the exhibition with the knowledge of a dress that puts YOU on, a dress that is remote-controlled to reveal its frilly backside, and a dress that goes up to your face and rather obstructs your vision.  The thought came to me that, you would have thought that in the era when it was not easy to mass produce, there would be… less.  Perhaps clothing would be more immodest, and in an era now of such richness, we would drape more, we have more at our disposal.  Yes, our present is so rich, and yet we do nothing but drag the person down, particularly women, when it comes to fashion.  We put them down with immodesty.  In steps theatre/film/media.

In fashion and in theatre, you cant ever really get to the core of anything, because it’s all the product of someone’s angst always and their own perspective, so it points to the fact that there is objective truth.  But someone will throw this at me and say to me who are you to define truth?  Well, the very nature of fashion, that all this stuff stems from someone’s angst and you can’t ever get to the root of anything.  ‘Tis why we go round and round in circles, watching the same things all the time, wearing the same things all the time.

Carol…

carol1I will say that last night I had the privilege of seeing the movie, Carol; I call it a privilege because of the fact that it is one of very few queer-geared movies out there that does not end in overly dramatic, does not involve, heart-breaking/wrenching, depressing tragedy.  It was a film of beautiful cinematography, sincere wanting and longing, and just…  I’ll say it again: nice film stills to look at!

While lacking in the overly dramatic, it did have that, but in a different way.  I admit that throughout the film I found myself laughing at points that might seem inappropriate, and that was a lot of points!  But, therein lies the intrigue.  What first set off the giggles in me was seeing the main character Carol, played by Cate Blanchett, being so overtly flirty in the department store where her “eventual” interest works.  It was so in your face that you would be quite dense to not know this woman was flirting with you!  Cate Blanchett, remembering her regal portayals of Queen Elizabeth I, was transformed into a slightly swollen, somewhat mannish and stern housewife; it was quite interesting to see her in this light, and I certainly was not used to it.  So, I suppose what I’m getting at is the degree of melodrama in the flirtation.  Now, what is also interesting is the degree of juxtaposition in the film.  While her flirting with the other main character, Therese, played charmingly and refreshingly sweetly/innocently by Rooney Mara, was so overdone, what was quite fascinating was that the movie draaaaaaaged out the climax of their union, the two characters coming together in love.  It is true that these two barely had a real conversation before falling in love, but I suppose that’s left to us to decipher, through “who knows what they talked about in their incessant car rides across the country?”.  My friends and I discussed all this last night afterwards; it was great fun.

The other interesting aspect was, when they first met, the mousy Therese in the department store, trying to help Carol pick out a Christmas present for her 4-year old daughter, tells Carol that as a 4-year old girl, she wanted a train set.  I was unsure whether this was a jab at stereotyping, trying to show “oh of course one of the partners has to have ‘boyish tendencies'”, or if it really was just trying to break down a gender stereotype.

A moment that really stuck out to me, was that when Carol and Therese could no longer maintain contact for a period of time, Therese called her once from her poorly flat, trying in vain to reach her; Carol answers but hangs up, and you can’t help but FEEL as Therese says into the phone repeatedly after being hung up on “Carol, I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you.”.  In that scene, I knew that Carol was the perfect name for this character.  Somehow, that name just jumped out, stood out to me tremendously!   This aside, the phone call was a certain show of the beautiful sincerity of the film.  Another scene which showcased this, short as it was, was on Therese’s drive back home to New York City, she has to get out of the car at one point, and vomits.  You know that she is entirely heart-sick, from the letter of good-bye that Carol sends to her, as she has by this point returned home to fight for custody of her daughter.

This movie was sewn together beautifully: each scene sewn together sweetly, through thoughtfully written music for the film, and again, the cinematography, along with scenes and events I described above.  It is true, that the movie deflects the realities of the hardships these women REALLY would have faced during the time period in which it was set, but I think its purpose was simply to portray love, and perhaps did not set out to be a straightforward LGBT type of film.  Yes, I laughed at many scenes; they first get in contact because Carol happens to leave her gloves on the counter in the department store, and Therese, immediately and confusingly taken with Carol, steadfastly makes sure to mail them to her.  For the ending, I joked that perhaps Therese went to meet her at that party after all, because Carol simply left her gloves behind once again.  But, no joke, this movie is dope!  The closer you get to something that is troubling and different from you, the more empathy you will feel for the people who struggle.  I so enjoyed its ending, open to interpretation, but you pretty much are secured in the direction for which things will go for the characters.  Beautiful and truly moving.  Did I mention this movie is dope?  🙂

And now an addendum…  I confess I just returned from seeing the movie a second time.  What I forgot to mention initially is the very first opening scene of the film; you see at first something that appears to be a gate/bars/grill, something very trapping in style; in my eyes, a toss at the very premise of the movie: that this is about a gay couple and they are not free.  It’s quite interesting what you come back with when you view something a second time, isn’t it?  I’m not someone who watches a lot of movies, so for me to have viewed it twice, says something.  What I came back with was sadness over the very concept of the actor.  Often, roles are just toss-away, unimportant, and stupid roles.  However, sometimes, there’s a role that is sweet and innocent, pure of heart, intelligent, etc.  And I thought, how sad, because I saw Rooney Mara at the Gold Globes last night, and I thought, if only she could learn from the character she portrayed; if only a little bit of that innocence rubbed off on her.  But, sadly, what I noticed is that the artistry of the actor is incomplete; they merely take on a role, learn its parts, and then toss it away when the film is finished.  How sad is this?  I will also say, that Therese, in saying “Yes” to everything all the time, really reveals how, when a person is that way, in many respects you can’t trust them; their desires are wishy washy, when someone merely says yes to everything.

The movie even triumphed over the book.  In the book, when Therese asks, “Isn’t it better than sleeping with a man?”, sadly, book Carol replies, “Not necessarily…”.  That’s a real let down and I wonder if such lines might be used by women who are bisexual to “get back” at gay women in some way.  Movie Carol is a triumph over book Carol; in the movie, the characters are truly gay, truly just long to be with a woman and have been trapped, lost, however you want to put it, all their lives.  I appreciate too, that the movie did this; usually one does not prefer deviations from the original story, but given the topic, I think it can certainly be applauded for certain reasons.  Also, in the book, Carol is only about 10 years older than Therese, and has a daughter about 8 years old, making her to have had a child at around the age of 22.  Carols speaks of her married life with summers spent in Italy and France, etc, as though this all were some great compliment.  Again, another thing to be glad about, that this movie “came out” and made movie Carol who she is: a bit softer, gentler, more thoughtful.   Still, the fact that Therese is named Therese, gives me hope for the book, in spite of the “erroneous” nature of the author I’ll refer to it as, for Therese was the patron saint of the elementary school I attended.

I suppose this is has become a small juxtaposition of the movie versus the book.  I am not a great fan of film in general, which is why this movie has conjured up so many thoughts.  Although I am gay, the book made me question the depth of same-sex love.  In the book, when Carol leaves Therese to return to New York to fight for custody of her daughter Rindy, the book seems to frame everything as very linear: that Carol has said she promised to not see Therese anymore, because clearly, she loves her daughter more than she loves Therese.  You start to believe that to be true, and think that is the author’s absolute sentiment, and that there is no way around it.  If you’re a gay person, who was once in a heterosexual relationship that bore a child, and you now had a same-sex partner you were deeply in love with, but were threatened with never seeing your child again because of it, what would you do?  Indeed, the book shows us that there is in fact a way around it; Carol DID love Therese truly, both she and her daughter equally.  She simply gave up fighting in court; she was courageous, did what she had to do in order to remain with Therese, in a way that still enabled her to see her daughter, though much less frequently.  Book Carol IS indeed brave.  In the movie however, Carol’s love for Therese is really never questioned, is direct, and the “actions” merely have to be put on hold for a while.

All in all, still a dope film and story.

 

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The Ostrich in Love

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A beautiful little story I learned about over the course of my birthday weekend, and I wanted to share:

The Ostrich in Love

 

On Sunday the Ostrich saw a young lady walking in the park. He fell in love with her at once. He followed behind her at a distance, putting his feet in the very places where she had stepped.

On Monday the Ostrich gathered violets as a gift to his beloved. He was too shy to give them to her. He left them at her door and ran away, but there was a great joy in his heart.

On Tuesday the Ostrich composed a song for his beloved. He sang it over and over. He thought it was the most beautiful music he had ever heard.

On Wednesday the Ostrich watched his beloved dining in a restaurant. He forgot to order supper for himself. He was too happy to be hungry.

On Thursday the Ostrich wrote a poem to his beloved. It was the first poem he had ever written, but he did not have the courage to read it to her.

On Friday the Ostrich bought a new suit of clothes. He fluffed his feathers, feeling fine and handsome. He hoped that his beloved might notice.

On Saturday the Ostrich dreamed that he was waltzing with his beloved in a great ballroom. He held her tightly as they whirled around and around to the music. He awoke feeling wonderfully alive.

On Sunday the Ostrich returned to the park. When he saw the young lady walking there, his heart fluttered wildly, but he said to himself “Alas, it seems I am much too shy for love. Perhaps another time will come. Yet, surely, this has been a week well spent.”

 

Love can be it’s own reward

ostrich in love