I Think Back To 1986

I Think Back To 1986 (To my parents)

Wander the college greens
Do not think of me
Focus on your studies.

Do not think of him
Do not think of her
Do not follow this whim
Only think on what will be conferred.

Sit in your class
Do your math
Don’t look at him
Don’t cross paths.

Don’t do it, don’t do it
I probably yelled from above
From the dreamy skies
That made for your hub of love.

But I want to live
I want to be here
So perhaps live it out, just a little bit
I want to live!

I want to live!

Ice Cream!

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penny-licklogo    Kudos to owner Ellen Sledge, for her upbeat charm, and creating such a friendly and welcoming atmosphere.  Today I had the pleasure of visiting the cleverly-named Penny Lick Ice Cream parlor in Hastings-on-Hudson, NY.  Believe me, there were quite a few treats I wish I could have taken home to Ossining, but they’d certainly have melted by the time I got home.  This establishment definitely prides itself on not being TOO out there with its flavors, and is a simple but large shop, canvassed with photos by her neighbor, and a party room in the back for kids, decorated by a painter-friend of the owner.  Additionally, while the shop does offer two flavors containing nuts, it prides itself on being a pretty good safe-haven for children with such allergies.

As soon as I walked in, I was greeted with a very kind and chipper demeanor by Ellen.  I asked if I could sample a few flavors, and she remarked “Of course you can; it wouldn’t be fun or an ice cream shop if you couldn’t sample as many flavors as you liked!”.  🙂  I also was immediately given “the grand tour”, and saw the area right behind the counter, where the ice cream is made fresh every day.  How awesome, that everything is made right there!  For my part, I sampled Honey Graham, Mint Chocolate Chip (which was still all soft and swirly, having recently been made) and one other which sadly, I cannot remember :(.  Sorry, folks.  Admittedly, I found Honey Graham to be a little too sweet, but still tasty.  Ellen explained to me that the Mint Chocolate Chip is made in a style of stracciatella.

Now, for the freezer, which offered some ice cream pops, fruit-flavored amongst them, vegan offerings, and a nutella ice cream bar.  Yummmmmm.  I wound up walking out being a little typical, with a double-scoop of cookies and cream in a sugar cone, but very happy.  Being custard-based, I felt a delightful smoothness upon my lips after I devoured my cooling treat.  Like freon to my system on such a hot day.  I highly recommend visiting Penny Lick!  If I doled out stars, I’d give it 10!  Listen, I told Ellen her hair was awesome, and we became fast friends; that’s all there is to it.  Just kidding.  Bon Apetit!

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Fashion, Theatre, People, Feelings

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art and visiting both the Vigee LeBrun exhibition, the female 18th century French painter, as well as the Manus + Machina exhibition.  What I will mention here more so, is the latter.

The purpose of Manus + Machina is essentially to show the juxtaposition between what clothing can be when handmade, versus when made by by machine.  It can even become a machine, who knew!  I came away from the exhibition with the knowledge of a dress that puts YOU on, a dress that is remote-controlled to reveal its frilly backside, and a dress that goes up to your face and rather obstructs your vision.  The thought came to me that, you would have thought that in the era when it was not easy to mass produce, there would be… less.  Perhaps clothing would be more immodest, and in an era now of such richness, we would drape more, we have more at our disposal.  Yes, our present is so rich, and yet we do nothing but drag the person down, particularly women, when it comes to fashion.  We put them down with immodesty.  In steps theatre/film/media.

In fashion and in theatre, you cant ever really get to the core of anything, because it’s all the product of someone’s angst always and their own perspective, so it points to the fact that there is objective truth.  But someone will throw this at me and say to me who are you to define truth?  Well, the very nature of fashion, that all this stuff stems from someone’s angst and you can’t ever get to the root of anything.  ‘Tis why we go round and round in circles, watching the same things all the time, wearing the same things all the time.

Sweet and Gentle

Has anyone noticed the sad and pathetic state we have reached in society, where sharing with someone that another person has sweet or gentle characteristics is too much, and won’t elicit a response from them? Isn’t that a sad thing? It’s going too far. Think about what ‘sweet’ and ‘gentle’ are, compared to how we talk today, what we talk about, and the things that entertain us and make us laugh.

Yet, as I think on it, it is not surprising, due to the presence of abortion, and views on the elderly and euthanasia, which are behaviors which are rejections of innocence. We fail to protect the weak and vulnerable, so why would we have anything positive to say about them as a society, and furthermore, the individual?

Woman

Woman

Woman, beware of me
And all that I may possess for thee
And all others just like me
You know not what we possess in our hearts

Woman, be kind to me
And the others just like me
Though you know not what we’re about

Woman, think of me
When you’re walking gracefully in love
I cannot make-up to thee
What I am

Cartoons!

Snoopy!  Woodstock!  Pusheen!  These are the main cartoon characters I absolutely adore.  They bring me such great comfort, so much so that you know what?  I wish they were real.  I really do.  Just as I wish sometimes that a certain character in a movie were a real person.  And do you know what I notice?  That many people adore these characters so much, that they desire them to be as real as I do, as real as a friend.  And do you know what this made me think?  It made me think that cartoons actually bridge the divide between the debate of whether God does or does not exist.  You see, we humans all have a deep, innate need for comfort, for a comforter, and that comfort may take on many a form.  It was cemented in me through healthy order, that God is in fact real.  As a wounded human being, as we all are, we still have many needs that we don’t feel are or can be fulfilled by God.  And, if you’re someone with no roots in a belief in God, and you LONG for your favorite cartoon character to be real, because he or she is just so cute and you need that comfort and security, you have just proven what human being is, needs, and that God is real.

Phileo

I consider this a very good article, with 2 quotes that I will share below, that really stand out to me.  It is at the same time, flawed.  For instance, in mentioning that if homosexuality were as common as it is made to seem, there would be many elderly “coming out” now whom had not before; well, the flaw in that is, while this article comes at the entire situation as a result of either phileo or eros, it neglects the reality that many people pushed it way down, and are in fact capable of just living “celibately” for lack of a better word, in their long marriages, and that many elderly still would not feel comfortable coming out, having come from a society in the past that looked down on homosexuality.  The article blames romanticism as part of the reason for far too much eros, and yet, the elderly of today come from a time where homosexuality was taboo.  Also neglected is the concept that people are blank canvases when they are born, and are not pre-determined to be a particular orientation.  Certainly though, I will say that what ancient Greek males did with male youth was certainly rooted in eros, and so you can see, overriding eros has existed at various times, in different cultures.  Additionally, many a completely heterosexual person have said that they have found themselves at least once in their lives sexually attracted to one person of the same gender; so, if it was just one time, they cannot be completely lacking in exposure to phileo love.

Another flaw I find in this article is, in its linear approach of presenting phileo and eros types of love, it is troubling in that it leads you to think, if you are gay like myself for example, it leads to a type of paranoia; it made me to feel “oh my gosh, what if the person I go out with, is merely a victim of lacking in phileo love?” and so on.  The article is not anti-gay, but it helps clarify: This article explains very clearly one of the greatest reasons why we have so many people who come out as being attracted to the same-gender, and then a few months later, or a year later, they break your heart when you see them dating someone of the opposite gender.

It all makes me to think on so much.  I read an article on new research into schizophrenia, done with the help of about 65,000, and it had a lot to do with the discovery of something lacking in the connections between neurons, and I thought to myself:  When I see this, things like schizophrenia etc, and the things that can lead to it, I think of how inside ourselves we all have a little bit of outer space; but then again, the reality is, we all are our own universes. I think of the person who is more scientifically-prone, and then the more philosophically-inclined like myself, and I think of how most likely we’d never be a match as partners, and I think, wow, I can be like this, and she can be like that, and yet, all these neurons inside us can lead a person to be this way, who may never get a chance to become refined in how they were created to be, either like myself or the former, etc. All because of this outer space inside us.

It’s all so much to comprehend, and these two things, what about bathing a gay person in the Catholic Church?  What about bathing a gay soul into it, or into the Catholic Church’s perspective on life after death?  It’s all as messy as that.  Will the gay soul ask, “Do you really hate all that I have done in loving my spouse?”.

Anyway, here are the two quotes, and the link to the article:

“Polyamory is a glaring example of how phileo is being lost to eros in our modern age. It’s devastating, because eros is not the same as phileo. It’s not as stable. It’s explosive and full of dark urges and needs. It’s a throaty passion that can end badly and lead to tragedy.”

“Gallup issued a poll a few years ago that found an increase in homosexuality. More and more people are identifying as gay, and this isn’t just because they’re coming out of the closet. If that were the case, older people would be identifying as gay at an increasing rate. But this isn’t what’s happening. The increases are among younger people more affected by a sexualized culture coupled with an acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle.

My point is not to say there are no genuine homosexual relationships. There are. But I do think many people confuse phileo with eros because either they aren’t free to express it or they see it through an overlay of sexualization (or both). I think the fact that most people who think they’re homosexual and bisexual are high on the “feeling” personality scale by overwhelming margins gives some support to this.”

 

http://thefederalist.com/2015/12/28/how-to-stop-sexualizing-everything/

 

Plastic

I sat by the river in my car today, and I noticed a ripped up plastic bag stuck in a tree; it was very windy outside as you know. Plastic bags in trees always stay stuck there. Isn’t it interesting how the least important of things hang on? They stay, stubborn, knowing they’re not important, but the beautiful things, the important things, and things that reveal truth, get brushed aside. Someone you really care about dies. The ripped plastic bag stays fiercely against the wind.

Carol…

carol1I will say that last night I had the privilege of seeing the movie, Carol; I call it a privilege because of the fact that it is one of very few queer-geared movies out there that does not end in overly dramatic, does not involve, heart-breaking/wrenching, depressing tragedy.  It was a film of beautiful cinematography, sincere wanting and longing, and just…  I’ll say it again: nice film stills to look at!

While lacking in the overly dramatic, it did have that, but in a different way.  I admit that throughout the film I found myself laughing at points that might seem inappropriate, and that was a lot of points!  But, therein lies the intrigue.  What first set off the giggles in me was seeing the main character Carol, played by Cate Blanchett, being so overtly flirty in the department store where her “eventual” interest works.  It was so in your face that you would be quite dense to not know this woman was flirting with you!  Cate Blanchett, remembering her regal portayals of Queen Elizabeth I, was transformed into a slightly swollen, somewhat mannish and stern housewife; it was quite interesting to see her in this light, and I certainly was not used to it.  So, I suppose what I’m getting at is the degree of melodrama in the flirtation.  Now, what is also interesting is the degree of juxtaposition in the film.  While her flirting with the other main character, Therese, played charmingly and refreshingly sweetly/innocently by Rooney Mara, was so overdone, what was quite fascinating was that the movie draaaaaaaged out the climax of their union, the two characters coming together in love.  It is true that these two barely had a real conversation before falling in love, but I suppose that’s left to us to decipher, through “who knows what they talked about in their incessant car rides across the country?”.  My friends and I discussed all this last night afterwards; it was great fun.

The other interesting aspect was, when they first met, the mousy Therese in the department store, trying to help Carol pick out a Christmas present for her 4-year old daughter, tells Carol that as a 4-year old girl, she wanted a train set.  I was unsure whether this was a jab at stereotyping, trying to show “oh of course one of the partners has to have ‘boyish tendencies'”, or if it really was just trying to break down a gender stereotype.

A moment that really stuck out to me, was that when Carol and Therese could no longer maintain contact for a period of time, Therese called her once from her poorly flat, trying in vain to reach her; Carol answers but hangs up, and you can’t help but FEEL as Therese says into the phone repeatedly after being hung up on “Carol, I miss you.  I miss you.  I miss you.”.  In that scene, I knew that Carol was the perfect name for this character.  Somehow, that name just jumped out, stood out to me tremendously!   This aside, the phone call was a certain show of the beautiful sincerity of the film.  Another scene which showcased this, short as it was, was on Therese’s drive back home to New York City, she has to get out of the car at one point, and vomits.  You know that she is entirely heart-sick, from the letter of good-bye that Carol sends to her, as she has by this point returned home to fight for custody of her daughter.

This movie was sewn together beautifully: each scene sewn together sweetly, through thoughtfully written music for the film, and again, the cinematography, along with scenes and events I described above.  It is true, that the movie deflects the realities of the hardships these women REALLY would have faced during the time period in which it was set, but I think its purpose was simply to portray love, and perhaps did not set out to be a straightforward LGBT type of film.  Yes, I laughed at many scenes; they first get in contact because Carol happens to leave her gloves on the counter in the department store, and Therese, immediately and confusingly taken with Carol, steadfastly makes sure to mail them to her.  For the ending, I joked that perhaps Therese went to meet her at that party after all, because Carol simply left her gloves behind once again.  But, no joke, this movie is dope!  The closer you get to something that is troubling and different from you, the more empathy you will feel for the people who struggle.  I so enjoyed its ending, open to interpretation, but you pretty much are secured in the direction for which things will go for the characters.  Beautiful and truly moving.  Did I mention this movie is dope?  🙂

And now an addendum…  I confess I just returned from seeing the movie a second time.  What I forgot to mention initially is the very first opening scene of the film; you see at first something that appears to be a gate/bars/grill, something very trapping in style; in my eyes, a toss at the very premise of the movie: that this is about a gay couple and they are not free.  It’s quite interesting what you come back with when you view something a second time, isn’t it?  I’m not someone who watches a lot of movies, so for me to have viewed it twice, says something.  What I came back with was sadness over the very concept of the actor.  Often, roles are just toss-away, unimportant, and stupid roles.  However, sometimes, there’s a role that is sweet and innocent, pure of heart, intelligent, etc.  And I thought, how sad, because I saw Rooney Mara at the Gold Globes last night, and I thought, if only she could learn from the character she portrayed; if only a little bit of that innocence rubbed off on her.  But, sadly, what I noticed is that the artistry of the actor is incomplete; they merely take on a role, learn its parts, and then toss it away when the film is finished.  How sad is this?  I will also say, that Therese, in saying “Yes” to everything all the time, really reveals how, when a person is that way, in many respects you can’t trust them; their desires are wishy washy, when someone merely says yes to everything.

The movie even triumphed over the book.  In the book, when Therese asks, “Isn’t it better than sleeping with a man?”, sadly, book Carol replies, “Not necessarily…”.  That’s a real let down and I wonder if such lines might be used by women who are bisexual to “get back” at gay women in some way.  Movie Carol is a triumph over book Carol; in the movie, the characters are truly gay, truly just long to be with a woman and have been trapped, lost, however you want to put it, all their lives.  I appreciate too, that the movie did this; usually one does not prefer deviations from the original story, but given the topic, I think it can certainly be applauded for certain reasons.  Also, in the book, Carol is only about 10 years older than Therese, and has a daughter about 8 years old, making her to have had a child at around the age of 22.  Carols speaks of her married life with summers spent in Italy and France, etc, as though this all were some great compliment.  Again, another thing to be glad about, that this movie “came out” and made movie Carol who she is: a bit softer, gentler, more thoughtful.   Still, the fact that Therese is named Therese, gives me hope for the book, in spite of the “erroneous” nature of the author I’ll refer to it as, for Therese was the patron saint of the elementary school I attended.

I suppose this is has become a small juxtaposition of the movie versus the book.  I am not a great fan of film in general, which is why this movie has conjured up so many thoughts.  Although I am gay, the book made me question the depth of same-sex love.  In the book, when Carol leaves Therese to return to New York to fight for custody of her daughter Rindy, the book seems to frame everything as very linear: that Carol has said she promised to not see Therese anymore, because clearly, she loves her daughter more than she loves Therese.  You start to believe that to be true, and think that is the author’s absolute sentiment, and that there is no way around it.  If you’re a gay person, who was once in a heterosexual relationship that bore a child, and you now had a same-sex partner you were deeply in love with, but were threatened with never seeing your child again because of it, what would you do?  Indeed, the book shows us that there is in fact a way around it; Carol DID love Therese truly, both she and her daughter equally.  She simply gave up fighting in court; she was courageous, did what she had to do in order to remain with Therese, in a way that still enabled her to see her daughter, though much less frequently.  Book Carol IS indeed brave.  In the movie however, Carol’s love for Therese is really never questioned, is direct, and the “actions” merely have to be put on hold for a while.

All in all, still a dope film and story.

 

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Faith and Religion

Faith and religion are separate things, but I believe they can both be either too close and cosy, or too far away for people, and that is why you have people hearing glorious hymns, yet living together and sleeping together. And when you’re living together, your sexual act is merely “sleeping together”.

I side with the concept of how, given that a vast majority of the most glorious of music, the greatest of glories that seep out of a human being such as Bach’s, which was written in the name of and for the glory of God, it is evidence enough that there is a God.